Oh what a silly thing just happened! Donald Trump has been caught acting like a little Pinocchio, yes a tiny wooden boy whose nose grows when he tells lies! If he’s not careful, his nose is going to get stuck like that!
After former FBI director James Comey leaked a memo to the failing New York Times about how Trump tried to obstruct justice and convince him to drop the FBI investigation into Michael Flynn, Trump tweeted about how Comey better hope there are no “tapes” of their conversations. Uh oh! But then Comey testified all like “I HOPE THAT MOTHERFUCKER HAS A TAPE” and Trump was like “I’ll have an announcement ‘over a short period of time’” about whether he has tapes, and Sean Spicer kept saying the president would make an announcement about that very soon, like ooh exciting, is this the season finale of a reality TV show where instead receiving a rose from a sexxxy bachelor, you get “wire tapps” from an orange flab thing? Everybody and their mother, including Yr Royal Wonkette, was like “Eat me, he doesn’t have tapes.”
Well lookie loo: