Kristin Mink, who teaches sixth grade at that hotbed of radicalism DC's Sidwell Friends School, noticed a familiar face a few tables away as she, her husband, and her toddler son had lunch Monday. It was EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, who is not healthy for children and other living things! So, knowing she might get tongue-tied talking to a famous bigwig, she jotted a couple quick notes to herself and walked over to introduce the oil industry fluffer to just one of the kids who's going to grow up on a much hotter planet thanks to Pruitt's diligent work to reverse curbs on greenhouse gases. It was exactly the sort of calamitous public confrontation the civility police have feared, except for how she was all calm and polite and stuff.
Hi, I just wanted to urge you to resign because of what you're doing to the environment and our country. This is my son. He loves animals. He loves clean air. He loves clean water. Meanwhile, you're slashing strong fuel standards for cars and trucks, for the benefit of big corporations.
You've been paying about 50 bucks a night to stay in a D.C. condo that's connected to an energy lobbying firm, while approving their dirty sands pipeline.
We deserve to have somebody at the EPA who actually does protect our environment, somebody who believes in climate change and takes it seriously, for the benefit of all of us, including our children. So I would urge you to resign before your scandals push you out.
See? Exactly the sort of insanely threatening rant from a wild-eyed environmental freak that forced Scott Pruitt to order bulletproof seat covers for his government SUV, a secret phone booth, and a 24/7 security team. At any moment, that insane woman could have started bludgeoning him with her adorable blubby-cheeked tot. You just never know. The woman has tattoos like a common thug or millennial, for godssake!
Pruitt didn't find anything to say in reply, and he left before Mink got back to her table, doubtless so he could requisition a military MRAP armored vehicle for his future outings. His lunch companion hasn't been identified, so let's just assume it was someone deeply concerned about the environment, like a coal CEO.
We'll further assume that he's also seen yesterday evening's WaPo story on congressional testimony given by former EPA staffers about some of his more creative use of EPA resources, like asking those staffers to help Pruitt's lazy wife find a job. We already knew the basics, but this is new: In testimony to the House Oversight Committee, the aides said Pruitt wanted them to find his lazy wife Marlyn a position with a minimum salary of $200,000 a year. Preferably inside work, with no heavy lifting.
On top of that, the New York Times reports one of those former top aides, Samantha Dravis, testified about Pruitt's cheerfully cavalier approach to "ethics laws," which are of course for little people:
She also told the investigators that she had cautioned Mr. Pruitt that he would have to disclose his wife's income on federal financial disclosure documents, and that he responded that he would create a limited liability corporation, according to the two people with knowledge of her interview[.]
Pfft, disclosure, shmishclosure. Smart people know how to get around such trivialities, and Scott Pruitt knows Oklahoma billionaires, so he is a smart.
Now that he knows lefty moms have even more stuff to natter at him about when he goes to lunch, Scott Pruitt's next move is obvious: He'll request his every move be protected by a US Navy carrier battle group.
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[Splinter News / Kristin Mink on Facebook / WaPo / NYT]